Trying to stay alive

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
humorrelated
marvelgifs

Adapt to this

geniuzoneee

LET ME JUST POINT OUT THE VARIOUS FLAWS OF LOGIC HERE. FIRST OF ALL DARWINS POWER IS TO LITERALLY ADAPT TO ANYTHING IN THE EFFING UNIVERSE. HIS POWERS DEEMED IT TOO DANGEROUS TO FIGHT THE HULK AND TELEPORTED HIM TO ANOTHER COUNTRY. HE ONCE BECAME PURE COSMIC EFFING ENERGY AND SHORTLY AFTER REMATERIALIZED AS A HUMAN BEING TO PREVENT HIS DEATH. DARWIN IS LITERALLY INEFFINGVINCIBLE. AND YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT A PATHETIC BALL OF KINETIC ENERGY FROM SEBASTIAN SHAW MERKS HIM?!?!?! THEY OBVIOUSLY ARE OUT TO KILL THE BLACK MAN IN THE PLOT AND LITERALLY WROTE THIS SCENE WITH NO REGARDS TO DARWINS POWERS WHATSOEVER AND ITS FRUSTRATING THAT THEY WOULD GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO KILL HIM OFF LIKE THAT

convolutednormality

I’m saying. Even in sci fi we ain’t safe

frantzfandom

in my headcanon darwin literally became a being of energy and ascended to another plain of existence so he doesn’t have to deal with anymore of this white nonsense

queensoucouyant

i was SO tight about this bullshit

carlathezombie

Years later and I STILL get so mad about this

they killed the one fucking x-man whose power is literally SURVIVAL. That’s his power. He can DO ANYTHING IT TAKES TO SURVIVE! Shaw says “adapt to this??” HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO. 

In addition to the above mentioned things he’s survived, when shot with a gun made to kill ANYTHING WITH A NERVOUS SYSTEM, he turned into a SPONGE, and then back again. 

Once, he touched a goddess of death. And to survive that, HE BECAME A DAMN DEATH GOD HIMSELF. AND YOU’RE TELLING ME HE CAN’T SURVIVE SOME FUCKING KINETIC ENERGY?? BULLSHIT I SAY. BULL FUCKING SHIT. 

june2734

This^

teal-rose-petals

This pissed me off so much like fuck this.

magicalplantprince

I’m still pressed about this

seedy
uneditededit

Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

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suicunesrider

not gonna lie that still looks intimately real

drtanner

I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.

Fucking witchcraft, man. 

fangirlingoverdemigods

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fucking look at this shit though

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mauridianhallow

Literally see this post flying around with a few different responses added to the bottom each time so I’ll say it for this one myself:

THEY ACTUALLY BUILT A GIANT MASSIVELY DETAILED FUCKING ANIMATRONIC T-REX FOR ALL OF THIS THAT’S WHY THE EFFECTS ARE SO GOOD. CAUSE IT AIN’T CGI. AND IT AIN’T GUY IN A COSTUME. IT’S A BIG FUCKING ROBOT DINOSAUR. AND EVERY PART IS DESIGNED TO MOVE. IT COST LIKE HALF THE BUDGET OF THE FILM.

mizushimo

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amazing

shadowthorne

And they had the film it in small increments, especially in the outdoor scenes, because the rain fall kept soaking into the ‘skin’ of the rex and would slow down and mess up its movements. So they would stop filming and have a crew out there drying off this massive, fake dinosaur, and then they’d start filming again until it was too wet. Repeat until the end of the scene.

socialjusticeichigo

They used animatronics and detailed costumes for most if not all of the dinosaurs in the first movie.

The triceratops for instance, was also animatronic.

And the raptors were dudes in suits. I shit you not.

datneeks

One of my favorite anecdotes I’ve read on tumblr is how the t-rex robot from Jurassic park would malfunction while it was drying out. How did it malfunction, you might wonder?

Motherfucker randomly started moving.

So apparently if you were on the jp set you would sometimes hear people screaming bloody murder even though they were all well aware that it was a giant animatronic puppet and wouldn’t actually, you know, eat them.

bitter-bi-witch

(link to said post about malfunctioning t-rex)

alessariel

Did not know this, had to reblog for awesome movie history insights.

brainsforbabyjesus

So, I knew about the animatronics bit but I did not know the raptors were guys in suits and the malfunctioning t-rex sounds terrifying.

And i just googled malfunctioning t-rex and was not disappointed. Apparently in order to put the skin on over the steel frame a guy had to crawl inside the t-rex while it was turned on and glue the skin down. And if somebody turned the t-rex off or the power went out the guy in the t-rex stood a very real chance of getting mangled and killed by the hydraulics.

So of course, the power goes out.

And this guy is still in there gluing the skin down.

Apparently the way to survive getting sheered to death by huge sheets of metal while you’re inside a giant t-rex robot is to curl into a ball and hope for the best.

And this guy hoped for the best and got it.

Some other people on stage pried open the t-rex jaws and glue guy crawled out of its mouth and was totally okay.

alessariel

This is getting better and better.

red-dirt-roads

I think they only had like 6 minutes of CGI

buddha-fett

I’m just waiting for the T-Rex to come to life and leave its stand.

perspectiverelativity

@spinosaurus-the-fisher is this the kind of content you love?

spinosaurus-the-fisher

Realism comes at a cost, it seems.

funkylittlefang

i mean ok but why has nobody posted this:

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spinosaurus-the-fisher

It’s a three piece raptor suit.

2p-germanys-blog

Old movies had the best special effects

adinfinitumxx

The thing about this that gets my special effects nerd going is the fact that EVERY single dinosaur was sculpted by artists based on the current existent archeological evidence of the time.

witwitch

@jurassicparkandrecreation

senkirowolf

@shepfax

prettyarbitrary

Even better than that, this movie ADVANCED our best understanding of dinosaurs at the time.  They were blowing out a budget bigger than anything Hollywood had ever seen, and along with employing almost the last hurrah of incredible physical FX, they had a bank of those newfangled digital SFX computers.  Nobody’d ever really created convincing dinosaurs in a movie before.  It’d all been stop-motion animation, and even when the models were exquisitely crafted, you could just tell there was something OFF about them.  Spielberg wanted THE BEST DINOSAURS EVER, and he figured on using the cutting edge of digital modeling and animation technology to build them for him.

So they got hold of some of the best paleontologists they could find and said, “We want you guys to take this tech that your labs could pretty much never afford and use it to build us the most realistic, accurate dinosaur models the world has ever seen.”

The paleontologists knew an opportunity when it bit them in the ass.  They plugged in everything they knew about dinosaurs, all the skeletons and their best guesses about soft tissue and all that.  And when they’d created those dinosaur models, they had the computer start moving them as they realistically would with anatomy like that.  One guy took a look at those walking t-rexes and velociraptors (really utahraptors, but whatevs, fam), and he said, “Wait a minute, I’ve seen movement like that before.”

He called up film of a chicken walking.  Everyone in the room said, “Holy shit.”

Prior to 1989, the idea that birds were descended from dinosaurs existed–we knew about archaeopteryx, we knew there was some minor connection there–but the idea that DINOSAURS LIVE IN THE MODERN WORLD AND THEY ARE CALLED BIRDS was not pre-eminent.  Jurassic Park changed our scientific understanding of dinosaurs.

bastlynn

That paleontologists’d be Kevin Padian. Who is awesome.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Padian

thistherapylife

This post just gets better and better with time

thugilly
lesbianshepard

my fave greek history story to tell is that of agnodice. like she noticed that women were dying a lot during childbirth so she went to egypt to study medicine in alexandria and was really fucking good but b/c it was illegal for women to be doctors in athens she had to pretend to be a man. and then the other doctors noticed that she was 10x better than them and accused her of seducing and sleeping with the women patients. like they brought her to court for this. and she just looked at them and these charges and stripped in front of everyone like “yeah. im not fucking your wives” and then they got so mad that a woman was better at their jobs then them that they tried to execute her but all her patients came to court and were like “are you fucking serious? she is the reason you have living children and a wife.” so they were shamed into changing the law and that is how women were given the right to practice medicine in athens

autieblesam

Yeah, this isn’t some Greek myth story about a hero or demigod or something, Agnodice was a real person who actually did this.

hand
this-isnt-my-bra

Once my friend Henry was accused of wearing wireless headphones by a substitute so she said for him to hand them over so he took them off and handed them to her. Then later on she asked him a question and he didn’t respond so she said it louder and he still didn’t respond. She asked why he was not responding and he said “I can’t understand you ma'am, you took my hearing aids.”

lolodapsycho

HOLY SHIT

mamoru

one time we had a sub that was handing back papers and called my name. I asked if someone could grab it for me and she started mocking me for not even standing up. taunting me asking why I was not walking up to the front to get the paper myself.

my classmates went dead silent and after the sub’s laughter ended someone informed her that the wheelchair parked nearby belonged to me

silver-rayn123

I had a sub in English once, on presentation day. And everyone goes up and does their thing, and then its my turn. The whole time im stuttering and mixing up my words, having to stop and re-say my sentences. The rest of the class is used to this and claps. However, by the time its over, the teacher is 100% done.

Starts saying horrible thing about how im going to have to get over my ‘fear of public speaking’ and how she’s heard 8 year olds give better presentations (plus worse things but I don’t really member them). By then im in tears and on the brink of a panic attack, and then she starts telling me off for crying

The rest of the class is horrified. Then this boy stands up. He never been my friend and we never really got along, but he’d never bullied me. He told her in a pissed off, cold voice that in freshmen year I got a concussion and that I never really recovered from it, so all that was medical related and I couldn’t help it. Then he starts telling her off and the rest of the class joins him.  

The teacher is mortified and tries to cover her ass, but the whole class walked out and that boy took me by the shoulders and we all walked to the principles office and told him what had happened. Lets just say she isn’t teaching anymore.

Also, turns out that boy had a sister like me, who couldn’t really speak. We’ve been best friends for 8 years and i’ll be his best woman at his wedding next year. 

The moral is that Teachers, even subs, and adults shouldn’t scold kids before knowing the whole story, because shit like that can fuck up kids self-esteem for the rest of their life. 

dawntlessdusk

Fuck

perks-of-being-chinese
purrsianstuck

During the Bubonic Plague, doctors wore these bird-like masks to avoid becoming sick. They would fill the beaks with spices and rose petals, so they wouldn’t have to smell the rotting bodies.

A theory during the Bubonic Plague was that the plague was caused by evil spirits. To scare the spirits away, the masks were intentionally designed to be creepy.

twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck

Mission fucking accomplished

cellarspider

Okay so I love this but it doesn’t cover the half of why the design is awesome and actually borders on making sense.

It wasn’t just that they didn’t want to smell the infected and dead, they thought it was crucial to protecting themselves. They had no way of knowing about what actually caused the plague, and so one of the other theories was that the smell of the infected all by itself was evil and could transmit the plague. So not only would they fill their masks with aromatic herbs and flowers, they would also burn fires in public areas, so that the smell of the smoke would “clear the air”. This all related to the miasma theory of contagion, which was one of the major theories out there until the 19th century. And it makes sense, in a way. Plague victims smelled awful, and there’s a general correlation between horrible septic smells and getting horribly sick if you’re around what causes them for too long.

You can see now that we’ve got two different theories as to what caused the plague that were worked into the design. That’s because the whole thing was an attempt by the doctors to cover as many bases as they could think of, and we’re still not done.

The glass eyepieces. They were either darkened or red, not something you generally want to have to contend with when examining patients. But the plague might be spread by eye contact via the evil eye, so best to ward that off too.

The illustration shows a doctor holding a stick. This was an examination tool, that helped the doctors keep some distance between themselves and the infected. They already had gloves on, but the extra level of separation was apparently deemed necessary. You could even take a pulse with it. Or keep people the fuck away from you, which was apparently a documented use.

Finally, the robe. It’s not just to look fancy, the cloth was waxed, as were all of the rest of their clothes. What’s one of the properties of wax? Water-based fluids aren’t absorbed by it. This was the closest you could get to a sterile, fully protecting garment back then. Because at least one person along the line was smart enough to think “Gee, I’d really rather not have the stuff coming out of those weeping sores anywhere on my person”.

So between all of these there’s a real sense that a lot of real thought was put into making sure the doctors were protected, even if they couldn’t exactly be sure from what. They worked with what information they had. And frankly, it’s a great design given what was available! You limit exposure to aspirated liquids, limit exposure to contaminated liquids already present, you limit contact with the infected. You also don’t give fleas any really good place to hop onto. That’s actually useful.

Beyond that, there were contracts the doctors would sign before they even got near a patient. They were to be under quarantine themselves, they wouldn’t treat patients without a custodian monitoring them and helping when something had to be physically contacted, and they would not treat non-plague patients for the duration. There was an actual system in place by the time the plague doctors really became a thing to make sure they didn’t infect anyone either.

These guys were the product of the scientific process at work, and the scientific process made a bitchin’ proto-hazmat suit. And containment protocols!

zacharielaughingalonewithsalad

reblogging for the sweet history lesson

fvckthisreality

Reblogging because of the History lesson and because the masks, the masks are cool
scriptmedic

Humans, you all know historical medicine ain’t my Thang™, but if any of you have any interest about plague times or just want to understand these bitchin’ get ups, this post is for you!

koiotchka

What a great lesson :D